PRIME POST! Do We Create Our Own Reality?
Is it true?
I answered a couple of questions for a client this week that I think warrant being publicly duplicated. Here are both his questions and my answers.
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“Hi, Fred. I wonder what your take is on the notion that we “create our reality” with our thoughts and feelings. Of course I’m talking about the relative plane, since I understand that Reality is the eternal field that is not created or creatable. Do you have a sense that what shows up in our experience is moldable by the influence of our thinking and feelings or would you put outcomes and circumstances as beyond any control within our ability to influence or manipulate?”
Hi, Larry. This is a well-asked question, especially since you’re indicating two views. In this case, there are actually three: relative, universal, and nondual. A great deal of nondual spirituality/philosophy is taught from the universal view rather than the nondual, which complicates an already difficult teaching.
This is being written for you. I may use it for a post later. Every unit always thinks the satsang teacher or the spiritual writer is addressing them personally, when in truth the teacher or writer is always addressing whoever is in front of them. We can effectively gather general information this way, but it’s the same way that misunderstandings arise.
So be clear that this answer is being written specifically for you—for what appears as and is commonly known as the Larry unit. Of course what’s actually happening is that Oneness is speaking directly to Oneness through both the Fred and Larry units. On we go.
[The following synopsis is necessarily simplistic in the cause of brevity. For that same reason it does not attempt to be “nondually correct.”]
THREE VIEWS
Relative teachings masquerading as “true” teachings are those which are taught in opposition to anything that isn’t of its own tribe and tradition. “We’re right and you’re wrong, regardless of what you’re teaching.” From the relative view “X” is true.
Universal teachings masquerading as “nondual” teachings are those which are taught in opposition to our ‘normal’ relative understanding. From the universal view, “Z” is true. “We’ve moved to the other side of the equation, but we’re still right and you’re still wrong.”
However, from the nondual view, “Y” is true, and for our purposes here we’ll regard “Y” as standing for both “X” and “Z” simultaneously being true. This makes the mind extremely uncomfortable.
Every single large spiritual insight I’ve ever had has always pointed to a “both/and” answer, never to an “either/or.” First I see that the opposite of how I had things figured out is true, and then, later perhaps, I’ll see that the full view contains both.
The mind is a relative, either/or mechanism, just like a computer, which is why we interface so well with them. Mind and computer both ask “Is the switch ‘off’ or ‘on’?”; “Is the answer ‘0’ or ‘1’?”; “Is it ‘less than 45’ or ‘more than 45’?”.
Everyone starts their spiritual story from the same place: the relative plane. We start out believing in, and acting from, one half of the yin-yang: “I am Fred; I am the body.” We are living in 180 degrees of the truth. It’s true as far as it goes, but it doesn’t go far enough.
Upon awakening and having our first look from the universal view, we typically jump straight to the other half of the yin-yang. “I am Not-Fred; I am the Vastness.” We are living in the other 180 degrees of the truth. It’s true as far as it goes, but it doesn’t go far enough.
Mind now has choices, and it wants to know, which is the right one? Am I the little man or the Vastness? Both. This last understanding, that you are Oneness that includes both the little man and the Vastness is what’s missed in a lot of teachings.
So, with that covered let’s address your question on manifestation.
Larry, once we see for ourselves that this whole thing, inclusive of the unit we thought we were, is a dream, we immediately recognize that anything can happen anywhere at any time. So, is it possible that in the dream we can influence events and outcomes?
It may appear so, within the confines of the dream. There are a couple of things to note. The one who’s trying to manifest, typically for its own benefit, is a dream character. None of this is authentic spirituality, its dream management. It’s just a dream character trying out the mechanics of the dream. If it appears that its own behavior brought about a desirable end—in the dream, for a dream character, then it will probably repeat that behavior—within the dream.
In truth, there is no separation or division of any kind. Everything is happening at the same time. There is no direct cause and effect. Everything is the cause—and the effect—of everything else. There is just one thing going on.
I used to work with manifesting stuff 25 and 35 years ago. It wasn’t at all mainstream back then. Let me tell you what my issue is with such activity. We start out with a lie. See, I don’t actually know what’s good for my character, and I don’t have the slightest clue about what’s good for the Whole. Everything is tied to everything else, so even if my character ends up appearing to manifest what it wanted, if it’s not in alignment with everything else, which may not be a good thing.
It really is the old “be careful what you ask for.”
I’m going to include two videos about 1) Real Abundance and 2) Real Manifestation that I cut a few weeks ago. Listen to the story of my manifesting friends and their restaurant.
Now, let me go a little further. What changes your world is your view. “When I change where I’m looking from, what I’m looking at changes.”
If you look at the world as the Larry unit, you are going to find problems and suffering. You can’t not: it’s built in. It’s the relative view.
If you look at world through the Larry unit, if you use it as the camera that it is instead of as the photographer that it always thought it was, then you’ll see one, single, perfect field where everything is simply happening, and it’s happening beyond any beliefs, opinions, or positions that various units may have about it. This is the universal view. I AM. It Is what It Is. And there is no alternative. This is the universal view.
The nondual view would be that yes, everything is absolutely perfect! AND I’m just going to tweak this thing over here, or say that to that person over there, or pick something up, or put something down—take some kind of action—to see if I can, paradoxically, make it “more perfect later.” Makes no sense. Doesn’t have to. Welcome to true, full, nondual spirituality.
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“Second question has to do with what you recommend in dealing with difficult emotions, such as fear, guilt, shame, etc. Most non dual teachings encourage a non-resistant embracing of such feelings as they arise, and/or a curiosity of what they are made of or the examining of the self that identifies with them. It feels like though I’ve glimpsed this awakened state I still find a strong return to separation when these feelings arise in me.“
First thing, whose fear, guilt, and shame are we talking about? Larry’s. Have we ever found a Larry? No. We looked long and hard, and we could not find a Larry. Finally we concluded that there is no Larry. So your question is not really about feelings and emotions, it’s about identification. And this, of course, is the foundation of the dream.
Ego wants to tell us that the content of the present arising as well as the answer to our questions are really important, even vital. I fully sympathize with this position, but it’s not a true one. All that really matters is who is experiencing the present arising and who is asking the question. If you actually turn you attention around and look, can you find the experiencer? No.
This use of your attention to investigate what’s true is what is vital. I call it “hitting the wall.” Investigate your thoughts. Suffering arises when we take our thoughts seriously. This is the truth.
It feels like though I‘ve glimpsed this awakened state I still find a strong return to separation when these feelings arise in me.
Can you locate this “I-me” you’re speaking of? No. Can you find the one who glimpsed reality? No. Knowing this won’t help you nearly so much as looking and finding the negative answer. Hit the wall.
The “I” that is reading this words is the eternal “I.” The ordinary consciousness that’s taking this in is Tao, God, Awareness, Brahman, or what have you, that is confused and thinks it’s a Larry. What’s really going on here is that Oneness is writing to Oneness with the suggestion that the point of light notice that it’s not just a point of light (or Larryness), but that it’s the Whole Thing.
A short exercise you might find helpful in eliminating the side-effects of this kind of misidentification follows. Let us use fear as an example.
Sit in a chair. Relax as best you can. An alert posture is helpful. Now close your eyes and let the fear take you. Let it do its worst. Don’t fight it.
Notice that you don’t actually die. Notice that you could handle the fear indefinitely if you had to. My guess is that you’ll see it spike up, and then you’ll see it wind down, because without resistance it will simply pass through the body. It may very well go away. If and when it begins to arise, repeat the process. Allow it to come, and allow it to go.
You might get to a point where you can welcome it, because suffering is the alarm clock in the dream. It’s telling you that you are in misidentification. Inquire, investigate, allow.
And last, here’s a 10-minute video called Oneness In A Nutshell that may help to drive all of this closer to home. At the very least, it’s pretty funny.
April 28, 2015 @ 6:56 pm
Thank you for that gift of insight Fred
April 29, 2015 @ 2:12 am
Great post Fred — I am still chuckling at the idea of Carter, the “dream character” doing “dream management”. It adds an element of lightness and delight to this whole human game we play.
I may add some more comments later — but at the end of this long day, I think this dream character is going to do some dream management into bed, where the Carter character will dream he is dreaming.
Ain’t this fun. Much love, Carter.
April 29, 2015 @ 9:34 am
Hey, Carter! I hope you got more sleep last night than I did. I went to bed at 2am after my second post, and lay there wide awake for almost another hour. At 8:30am I woke up to Jack biting my feet. 🙂
Love,
Fred
April 29, 2015 @ 9:35 am
Hey, Tommy! You’re most welcome! Thanks for your comment.
April 29, 2015 @ 4:55 pm
Thanks for the post, Fred! I still get routine waves of fear, but I keep in mind that the state of being awake is not a mood. Awareness has the wonderful side effect of generally improving my mood and outlook. But it is not a mood, nor dependent on any perceived mood. So a wave of fear doesn’t mean I’m no longer awake. The key to avoid being pulled down into suffering by the fear wave, as you say, is not identifying with it.
This can be difficult, as the fear and the thoughts and stories it generates can be very compelling. Prayer can be helpful. Although prayer is a dualistic activity, it can help me stay connected to the absolute, until I’m strong enough to see once again that I AM the absolute.
April 29, 2015 @ 5:43 pm
Whatever WORKS. That’s the only criteria we should use.
April 30, 2015 @ 3:24 am
This sentence sounds like one of those that should be “shouted from the rooftops”: “All that really matters is who is experiencing the present arising and who is asking the question.” !
And “being awake is not a mood” is a perfect phrase for me right now, thanks!
I always wondered how people felt sure enough about what to manifest, confident enough in themselves, and sold enough on that teaching – to pull it off.
I’ve had my life come together in the last few years in ways that I would have chosen to manifest. Fred becoming my non duality guru is one of them. I’ve remodeled my home in increments and have been astounded that I have made something of a Disneyland for myself. My AA sponsor turned out to be a neighbor whom I am blessed to share life with beyond AA. I have relationships with other recovering addicts, also in my hometown, that aren’t defined by recovery, but none the less are indivisible from “keeping me sober”. And sobriety from substance abuse is over 3 years. And, oh, of course, I tried to “manifest” sobriety for a couple decades before! And I know not any significant difference for it to have started 3 years ago, It must have been cumulative if we’re talking linearity. But really part of a bigger story, such as really wanting to surrender to being the One thing, so couldn’t quite give it to “sobriety” alone before. In fact, I came across Fred and his book by Googling “beyond” “recovery”.
As miraculous as all this has been, and the immense gratitude I do enjoy, there has still been depressive energy. So manifesting isn’t all that, as Fred’s restaurant friends agree. i guess we all have our unique rhythms of manifesting that go on all the time. Some of the “make a point of doing it” culture is maybe like learning by playing with toys. If “manifesting” comes about the manifester gets that experience of obvious Oneness. Then there’s the fact that we all decide things in different time frames and those decisions have to manifest. I couldn’t visualize my house to far out in time or in plans (compared to :others”), but I certainly “saw” good ideas, one after the other, that felt like “I” had to make them happen.
So what’s important? “Who’s?” doing the manifesting! “Who’s?” liking the results, or not, and wondering why his moods are still not happy, grateful, enlightened enough.
Manifesting blessings at “you all”, Me (your name goes here too!)
PS I just manifested a blog comment! Weee … !
May 2, 2015 @ 12:57 pm
Hey, Mike! Thanks for your comment–it was great talking to you again yesterday.
“Who is it…” is the key, is it not?
All love,
Fred
May 1, 2015 @ 1:27 pm
Hi Fred
Really great post, thank you.
For some reason, Susaness goes into total confusion as soon as dreaming is mentioned. Who is dreaming the dream? Susaness knows she’s a dream character dreaming a dream of seperation (and sometimes forgets!).
But you say:
” that this whole thing, inclusive of the unit we thought we were, is a dream, …”
So Who or What is dreaming the dream? And, What is the dream? Is Oneness dreaming a dream?
See, confusion confirmed 🙂
Love
Susan
May 1, 2015 @ 1:41 pm
Susan is not dreaming. Susan is being dreamed.
Love,
Fred
May 1, 2015 @ 2:16 pm
Still confused. I have a mental block on this. I know I am not the thinker of my thoughts. I know that the seeker is sought when I turn my gaze inwards and can’t find Susan. I know I am not a concept…that I am prior to words. I just cant get the dreamer of the dream business
Anyway, Rightbackach on something else
Sitting in AA meetings and using AA speak, being freed from the bondage of self or freed from the bondage AS a self is so difficult to share on…and to articulate that this THIS THIS..IS IT. Arms out wide! The pointer of Oneness is there in the Big Book but there is so much suffering from a misunderstanding of it. The misunderstanding that there is the I am Joe Bloggs, I am a body, Etc etc. I know about that suffering, as so many of us do and before teachings such as yours, I stayed suffering because thats all I knew. I am Susan. I am a body and all the rest of the labels I attached to it. Totally seperate. But not anymore. I dont believe my own story lol I am recovered today. I am free.
But how to share this message, your message, THE MESSAGE of Oneness seems to be beyond this unit. Until its not, I suppose. Susaness is powerless because she doesnt exist…. So, why does Oneness express through some units and not others?
Need your wisdom, Fred.
May 1, 2015 @ 3:44 pm
Oneness “does” what Oneness “does” until Oneness “does” something else. Only a Susan wants to know why. If you want to suffer, just start asking “why?”
I would not bother to try and share these teachings in AA. They won’t get it, and they don’t want it. It’s not what they’re doing. They’re learning to dream better, which is a perfectly valid thing to do.
I don’t teach here on these boards. Inefficient. Gotta run!
May 2, 2015 @ 10:55 am
Hi Fred
Thank you very much! Yes to that!
I disagree..you teach so much on these boards whether you know it or not!
Namaste
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