Addiction & Awakeness by Kathleen Sutherland

Kathleen Sutherland is in the Continuing Students Program, lives in Iowa with her husband and a cat named Enso, and frequently writes for both the Awakening Clarity Now student forum and this website. She posted this article in the student forum this morning, and I thought it was superb, thus I’m reprinting it here. ♥f

I’m looking forward to Fred’s Beyond Recovery course which will explore the relationship between recovery from addictions and awakening.

The desire to alter one’s conscious experience is what propels addiction, just as it propels spiritual seeking.  With addiction, the high obtained initially is heavenly.  This state of bliss and oneness is truly spiritual, and in itself a sweet thing.  But when it can only be obtained by chemically altering (and harming) the body, it leads us down a very dark path.  The highs become muted, and the lows become lower, until we reach a point where the addictive substance does either nothing or stirs up dark feelings, and yet we continue to use because now the body, mind and soul are chemically dependent.

Addicts are basically spiritual seekers who have happened upon a highly unskillful and deleterious “practice.”  The goal, to find peace and connection with something greater than oneself, is laudatory, but the means are misguided.

I have abstained from alcohol for 10 years.  Early sobriety itself can trigger a sort of awakening, as we are lifted from a lower to higher state of consciousness.  As such, the issues that arise for the recovering addict parallel those of a spiritual awakening.  The addict is often initially euphoric.  The mind feels stunningly clear after years of substance-induced fog.  Insights flood in.  Feelings of love, oneness and bliss arise.  This is often called the “pink cloud” stage of early recovery.

As wonderful as it feels, the pink cloud phase is viewed with trepidation by those with more experience.  The state is not stable and is often followed by a terrible crash.  The euphoric mood gives rise to expectations of an easy-breezy wonderful life.  Sooner or later this delusion is dispelled, often quite harshly.  The ensuing letdown may lead to relapse.  But if it is seen for what it is – a wonderful experience but not one that will last nor solve all our problems – then we can settle into a more mature sobriety, one fundamentally supported by the sense of “great okayness.”

Addicts in recovery seek this stability. Simply stopping the addiction leaves a void; the spiritual yearning remains, stronger than ever.  The substances didn’t deliver, so now we seek a true awakening with clear abidance.

The issues that addicts have are essentially the same as all spiritual seekers.  They feel a persistent discontent, regardless of life circumstances.  This discontent may be more obvious in those prone to addiction, but it is likely inherent in the human condition, and certainly to all spiritual seekers.

Awakening removes this discontent, and if we can then establish stable clarity, we can abide in peace, or more accurately, as peace.  This is what we all seek.  And for addicts, it has the particular benefit of removing the compulsion to alter consciousness with substances, or substitutes for such: busy-ness, distraction, eating, shopping, sex, etc.

Although I have been gratefully sober for a decade, this unit is still conditioned to seek immediate relief from discomfort.  Food, especially sweets, can be an issue for me.  Just as with alcohol, I know that excess sugar will not augment my clarity or sense of great okayness.  I’ll have a few moments of faux peace followed by a sense of contraction, of separation from Oneness.  So I do my best to be vigilant with this temptation.

It will be interesting and helpful to explore these issues in Fred’s course.  Ultimately, I am grateful I went through the experience of addiction.  It led me to where I am: to Fred, and then through Fred, to awakening.  Everything happens for a reason.

I look forward to participating in the course with any of you who will also be there, and I’ll continue to share my reflections with all of you on this forum.

Love,

Kathleen