Could I Please Have a Bigger Burning Bush?
Could I Please Have a Bigger Burning Bush?
or
Why Can’t God Provide Signs That Will Impress Clever People?
By
John Ames
(John Ames is the editor of AwakeningClarityNow.com and Fred’s books, a frequent contributor here, and author the of a well-received coming-of-age novel, Adventures in Nowhere.)
My college roommate used to sit in the middle of his bed and announce, “God, if you will just lift up my bed and move it a couple of feet, I will believe in you.” Then he would assume a braced posture and wait, head tilted to the side expectantly. After a few moments, he would relax and say, “That’s all it would take, yet my deal is refused.” And this might be followed by some amusingly bitter comments about how, if God did exist, surely the signs would be definitive and irrefutable, not some stories from children claiming to have seen the Virgin Mary or, far worse, a face on a burned burrito. He wanted no more of these sideshow-quality signs, which if they were actually from God, were pathetic and seemingly more designed to irritate than to illuminate. Give him something an intelligent man could not doubt!
He was making a joke, but it was a joke that expressed a deep yearning. I certainly felt it. I wanted something authoritative. If not from God direct, then from some entity in which I could put full faith. A therapist once asked me, “What would such a person look like?” I couldn’t say, but I hoped I would recognize him or her when we crossed paths. Maybe that person would just say, “You’ve done a decent job living your life.” I would happily take that. There are worse epitaphs than “HE DID A DECENT JOB,” but before I contracted for the gravestone, I would have to believe what I’d been told. The speaker or the sign would have to be impeccable, and that’s the problem. A quick mind can always find a reason to doubt.
My college roommate had one of the quickest minds I have ever encountered. He was handsome and charming, a great observer of human behavior, and I suppose he actually thought that he would believe if God moved his bed. But no. The minute the bed moved, his fertile mind would have begun running over all the natural explanations for what had happened and if those failed, he would suspect his sanity, and if I said I’d seen it, too, he would assume we had lost our minds simultaneously or at least participated in a two-man hallucination. My roommate was too clever to be susceptible to heavenly signs of any kind. And if he had been somehow convinced in the moment by his bed in motion, how many days or weeks would it have taken for him to begin doubting what he had experienced? God would have had to cause his bed do a jig everyday, and having gotten used to that, my roommate would have called for something else: just one other thing would be needed to solidify his belief.
Look at the celebrated children of Israel. Supposedly, they had seen Yaweh inflict ten plagues on Egypt in their behalf and then for good measure throw in the parting of the Red Sea as they left town. Then in the desert, he produced water out of rocks, manna from heaven, and prior to Moses’ ascent of Mount Horeb to get the ten commandments “there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud.” The chosen people trembled at this display, yet when Moses came back, what did he find? A lot of drunks dancing around a calf that it had taken all the gold jewelry in camp to cast. It couldn’t even produce itself let alone a miracle, unless you consider a good party to be a miracle. And how long had this reversal of opinion taken? Less than forty days. And my roommate thought having his bed moved would hold him.
If he had cared to look further into the matter, as some of us are driven to do, he would have eventually come up against the worst news he could possibly get: you are on your own. The critical thing, the only thing really, is your willingness to submit to the sign, even if it is a burrito. I hope you get something a little more dignified and don’t wind up bowing down to a burrito, but in any case the burrito is not the issue. The issue is, who is doing the bowing? If you know that, whether or not you bow is beside the point. And that knowledge, however cleverly it may be pointed at, is something you must affirm for yourself. Even a spectacular sign like a burning bush or Red Sea event will not drive it home, unless you participate, which means you have to give up being clever.
I tried being clever with my father. He was a difficult man, and only when he was more stable in later life did he start to talk to me of religion. As a young fellow full of notions, I found his views ridiculous. He thought the world had been created in seven days, that it was 6,000 years old, and that the bible was infallible. He was very proud of the fact that it was so specific in the measurements of Noah’s Ark. It was in vain that I tried to use that very point to expose the fallacy of his view. Two of every creature would would not fit in a craft of that size. It was a physical impossibility. His trite and irritating reply was “With God, all things are possible.” He concluded the discussion by offering this assessment of me: “Johnny, you’re a good boy. Just a little over-educated.” He was so right.
My father died in my apartment when I was twenty-five years old. I watched him submit to an abdominal tumor with great dignity. Years before, he had told me, “I don’t fear death.” At the time I suspected it was a vainglorious boast, and then I saw it with my own eyes. And I, with all my Zen sayings and philosophy courses and other pretenses to spirituality, could not have done the same. What difference that he held ridiculous beliefs? All beliefs are ridiculous. The only thing that isn’t ridiculous is what you can verify in your own heart. My father felt the spirit and he agreed with it. He accepted that feeling, endorsed it on his own authority, and most probably that was how he healed his restless mind. He wound up his life as an agreeable entity. The bible stuff, which seemed so crucial to me, was a red herring.
After much observation, I have come to this conclusion: There are no signs for clever people, not until there is a gap in cleverness. Then a sign may shoot through and have some effect. The sign may be a burning bush, a face on a burrito, or a pebble hitting a piece of bamboo. The important thing is that you are not clever when the sign shows up, and if it does its work, then the believable signs are suddenly everywhere.
June 8, 2016 @ 11:25 am
Great article, John. The signs are everywhere, but the mind is a powerful filter, and interprets reality to fit its worldview. We see what we’re ready to see. And as our mind becomes more open to seeing signs, in my experience more signs actually manifest.
June 10, 2016 @ 9:52 am
Hi Kathleen. I agree wholeheartedly. Those scales need to come off.
Love,
John
June 8, 2016 @ 11:49 am
Great article, John. Many of us are, or have been, as Fred says, looking for the ‘cool Oneness’. For a number of years I was quite taken up with the Zen idea od ‘ordinariness’ and spent a lot of time searching for that special Zen ordinariness 🙂 One of ‘my’ breakthrough moments, prior to knowing anything about Fred, was reading John Wheeler’s “Awakening to the Natural State” when I came across the line ‘what we’re talking about is ordinary, everyday awareness’ (or words very similar). Suddenly the obviousness of the ever-present ordinary awareness was seen….. both ordinary and extraordinary.
June 10, 2016 @ 9:48 am
Hi David. You have said a mouthful. If one looks closely, it is always weird whatever is showing up. Great to hear from you.
Love,
John
June 8, 2016 @ 3:54 pm
This was fun to read. Especially “all beliefs are ridiculous”. Now there is comfort in that.
June 10, 2016 @ 11:49 am
Hi Robbin. Great to hear from you. I used to think it was my duty to have a bunch of beliefs. Now I don’t know what to believe.
Love,
John
June 11, 2016 @ 8:49 am
Belief is very much in duality, along with its shadow: doubt.
June 15, 2016 @ 1:47 pm
Hi David,
Just got back into town from an involved trip. Thanks for your comment. I agree, belief brings the burden of doubt. It’s best to trust what you can verify for yourself, not what you’re told. It took me a long time to get a handle on that.
Love,
John
June 11, 2016 @ 6:09 pm
“The only thing that isn’t ridiculous is what you can verify in your own heart.” Thanks John for this, and addressing such an important issue (deep–yearning-going-on-desperate for so many years!). This long, hard road of seeking, wanting some cognitive understanding, is cause for a lot of compassion!
I remember around 16 thinking I had an epiphany because I realized I didn’t need any proof for “happiness” (that there was such a thing, that it was desirable, sensible/possible to pursue), and so I could apply that to the “accepting Jesus” that a Protestant family was encouraging at the time. It was short-lived, but something continued to ring true for me. If I could have pointed the finger deeper, that I AM true, and happiness, and love, and God, then, well … well, I wouldn’t be here typing this! I was never so clever to ever appreciate what seems to be the clever case now, that “I was using seeking as the Way to hide from myself”. It certainly provides a much needed chuckle for me now. Although, my hearts hurts to think of what a nightmare scenario this questioning can be. Your bringing it up for more healing is so welcomed.
A more recent epiphany happened reading A Course in Miracles, when I read the simple statement that peace was a prerequisite for/to understanding (in time, otherwise they’re one and the same): at that moment I realized I understood THAT! It actually dove-tailed with something years before: “you only get it when you get it” (and you only get That, when you get it! – and it’s fucking frustrating before!). Anyway, I mention all this too because there’s part of me that thinks it “should” be able to show (ooh, there’s that “proof” boogeyman again!) others this understanding. And I really want to “get” that it’s only that total peace in me that would do it, without any outer words or inner cognitive understanding.
Funny, its my cognitive understanding that “gets” now that everything and everyone is a sign (that’s probably somewhat of that self-reflecting bubble denial going on!). But it’s a calming use of cognitive now. I’ve had serendipities, god-shots, epiphanies, and transcendence on drugs. And now they all fit better for me after what Fred said; “What Is seems to surrender when i surrender to What Is”.
This site has been a miracle for me, but it seems to be an answer to desperate prayers of many times from decades ago for some community. And an AA sponsor/friend and others through him similarly too. But there again, I guess I had to come to believe in mySelf first before those could be granted.
Peace and Understanding, under Love
June 15, 2016 @ 2:04 pm
Hi Mike,
I tend to have my head in the sand when traveling, so sorry to be late in acknowledging your beautiful reply. It is so candid and full of good will that I can add nothing to it. Just thanks for giving me a chance to read it.
Love,
John
June 15, 2016 @ 1:04 pm
Who is the one that would want to know there is/isn’t a God? 🙂
June 15, 2016 @ 2:08 pm
Hi Lynn,
Certainly God isn’t wondering. Thanks for a nice twist on the subject.
Love,
John