In Memoriam, John Ames – My Friend, My Student, My Editor – January 3, 2017
Hello, everybody. It is my sad duty to tell you that John Ames has died. He was my friend, my student, my editor, and a close confidant. I will miss him sorely, as will many of you living all around the world.
John worked tirelessly and selflessly – at no charge – to improve and promote the vehicle of his own freedom: The Living Method of Spiritual Awakening. He edited my website, and four out of five of my books.
In addition, he interviewed me on YouTube for several hours. I’ll put up links up to those, because they say as much about John as they do this teaching, because John was an integral part of this teaching.
John was often the welcoming “doorman” to the satsang group I host on Sundays. He shared his keen insight with us as well. John was a retired English professor, and a brilliant human. This past year he grew increasingly stabilized as Awakeness, and that, paired with that ever-sharp mind, showed up in his often-remarkable level of clarity.
John Ames was a genuinely good man, both kind and generous, who was devoted to first discovering, and finally serving Truth. It is an honor to have worked so closely with him to uncover his True Nature, and on the many projects that spun out of our unity and commitment.
Some of you may know he had colon cancer last year. John was an intensely private man: he would not let me share his predicament with the ACN community. He did finally write a short post about it, and several other posts as well. I’ll post links to those at the end of this memorial.
After a season of surgery, chemo, and radiation, this past June he tested cancer-free, but he was smart enough to know that it could crop back up at any time. I can report that he didn’t lose any sleep over that possibility. That was an imaginary future and John Ames lived in and as the Now. That which animated the John unit – knew it couldn’t be harmed and that It would never die, because it was in fact the Great Unborn.
Still, it was some hard, relative news this autumn when cancer showed back up, this time in his stomach. I knew about this, but only because I kept pestering him. He was always reticent to share bad news.
He went in hospital for surgery in early December. He told me, and his dear girlfriend to whom he was absolutely devoted for fifty years, that he was fine with whatever happened. He was surrendered to whatever outcome arose. He was free.
When his surgeon got in there this time, he found that it was necessary to remove John’s entire stomach. But it turns out that you can live without a stomach – you simply eat a dozen little meals every day. It’s not an undoable existence by a long shot.
John’s doctor felt he’d gotten all the bad tissue, and that the odds of his survival for the foreseeable future were excellent. Everyone let go of a deep breath they’d been holding for weeks. Including me.
And then the other shoe dropped.
There were post-surgery complications that showed up after a few days, unrelated to cancer, completely unexpected, and the fault of no one. Like all the rest of life, it just happened. John developed abdominal sepsis. It’s a terrible malady, and it took a tremendous toll on him.
Days turned into weeks, and the situation grew steadily worse. Hope for recovery was now turning into hope for a quick end. John utilized the extremely marginal communication ability he had left, and twice indicated to two different people that he did not want to continue the losing battle.
Yesterday evening at 7:00, Deidre, acting from deep love and strength, had the hospital remove the respirator. John Ames died at 8:30 this morning. January 3, 2017.
I’m glad to know that John is out of pain. I’m glad he knew what extraordinary love is on both a human and divine level. And I’m comforted in knowing that he lives on in many hearts and minds. He has not gone anywhere. He is with us as surely as he ever was, but still we will miss his smile and dry wit.
John’s life was an one of supreme success. He woke up two and a half years ago, but like most of us, he was in oscillation for quite a while. Then one day while he was grocery shopping Truth unveiled itself more fully. He expressed beautiful, child-like excitement. He was so happy! I’m smiling as I remember his first email about it.
John had great humility – he taught me most of what little I know about it. He never stopped pushing the envelope. He worked hard, and as a result he stabilized and cleared in a large way. Folks, that is as good as it gets. No unit in history has ever accomplished more. I’m asking Roland to change John’s title on the masthead to Editor Emeritus. He’s playing hooky now, but trust me, he hasn’t gone far. He will always be an important part of this website, and this teaching, so long as they exist.
You’ll have to excuse any typos. John always told me I never had that many, but now these posts will have to fly solo until they don’t. John’s not here to help me clean my act up any longer. Send John and Diedre some love. They’ll know.
My love and devotion to all of you,
Fred
LINKS
The Spiritual Side of Chemotherapy
Could I Please Have a Bigger Burning Bush
I Seem to Have Misplaced My Body
VIDEOS
A Conversation Between Fred & John #1
A Conversation Between Fred & John #2
A Conversation Between Fred & John #3
OTHER LINKS ABOUT JOHN
Adventures in Nowhere
(John’s Novel)
John on Simon & Schuster Publishing’s Website
January 4, 2017 @ 1:59 am
You are unusually kind John. I guess this is my last internet-carried communication. I’ll practice something more direct now, my friend. After all, you taught me about the Headless Way. But way more, something heart-full that I will continue to honor. I will always be glad to have know Myself, as You.
Here’s something John offered to me, that I think is meant for all of us:
“…with great affection, … I am moved to offer up a little trick that has been helpful to me. I had a talk once with an old-school teacher, and he gave me this simple advice: “John, whatever you are experiencing, just try to tune in to how much the universe is digging it.” Okay, it sounds dualistic, but it seems to open a channel for me. When I notice anxiety or sadness, or the heaviness of depression, I think “The universe is digging this.” And that takes me right to “Oh yeah, I am the universe. Why would I not dig it?” That sequence lightens everything. It removes stigma. Now, when I see a commercial and start to weep, I don’t think, what the fuck is wrong with me that needs fixing? I just tune in to how much the universe is digging it.”
<3
January 4, 2017 @ 6:21 am
Beautiful tribute, Fred.
I saw the interviews John did with you a while back and thought how polar opposites you two were. John was thoughtful, precise and sometimes a bit long-winded with his questions while you were champing at the bit barely waiting for him to finish before you rushed out of the gate almost knocking him over in the process (at least that’s the impression that stuck in my mind at the time) LOL.
I didn’t know John was a retired English professor. I would have liked to ask him some literature questions – particularly about Melville’s Moby Dick. Was Moby Dick really a description of the Awakening process disguised as an adventure story? Was the narrator — who opens the book with ‘Call me Ishmael” – actually the transformed Captain Ahab after his Awakening?… after Captain Ahab was lost at sea presumed dead? When read with that in mind, the book makes perfect sense.
I would have loved to hear John’s opinion on this but, in the end, it is what it is. On this voyage we seemed to have lost a Captain Ahab but perhaps somewhere just out of our awareness, someone is saying “Call me Ishmael.”
Love and Best Wishes to his family and loved ones
Kieron
January 4, 2017 @ 10:13 am
John was there, two months ago when a series of events led me to Fred and one on his books that created a shift. John was my go between. In early Dec he announced he would be gone for a couple of weeks and I wondered, especially after a few weeks if this wasn’t the case.
Two things then. One is a sadness at only knowing the person for a few weeks and having really I would think complex dialogue. Missing that return mail…..and then there is just this beautiful feeling like having witnessed an amazing event, knowing I am all of it ♥️??
January 4, 2017 @ 10:42 am
John was the meaning of the words Acceptance Generosity and Love. I’ve never known anyone else who truly embodied those things the way he did. I too wondered where he was in December but never once thought he was leaving. He was such a living spirit. I loved John and will miss him more than I can say. Fred, your tribute to him was beyond description. Thank you for bringing him into my life and ushering him out. All love to you and Deidre
❤️ Joyce
January 4, 2017 @ 12:08 pm
I am so sorry to hear this. I had missed John at satsang this past month, and now I always will.
Peace and love,
Kathleen
January 4, 2017 @ 1:32 pm
Fred…What a wonderful tribute! It is so fantastic that you included the links to his links and works. What a great way to share his legacy and immortalize him. I’m so touched by this memorial.
Beautiful…
January 4, 2017 @ 2:10 pm
I’m so sorry for the loss of this beautiful man. Wishing him and you blessings on his journey…
Jane Cohen
January 4, 2017 @ 3:20 pm
Sad news. When I first began to absorb the Awakening Clarity message I greatly appreciated the series of conversations between Fred and John. John’s insightful questions seemed to probe deeper than many interviewers were able to.
January 5, 2017 @ 9:18 pm
I was able to always sense John’s love, joy, his truth.
February 5, 2017 @ 7:31 pm
I’ve just come to,realize how much I miss John. As I said above I only knew him for a little over a month and just through email but that doesn’t at all convey how important he was to me. He was there when the opening happens and Fred had him communicate with me. Several emails went back and forth. If,let a week go by he would mail me just to make sure. I remember him saying he would be gone for a short while. That was the last I heard until Fred said something. I feel sometimes like I am on a road by myself now a bit sad, yet if I tell the truth I know he is right here never born, never died.. I will try to do a satsang later this month.
February 5, 2017 @ 9:25 pm
Come join us again, John. What you really are is always alone, but you needn’t be lonely. ♥
February 10, 2017 @ 12:17 pm
I’m looking at a Sunday satsang……much love
February 10, 2017 @ 12:31 pm
I’ll see you on the 19th! ♥