Letter from the Field: When Conscious Awakeness Goes White Hot

Vince Fortunato is a member of our Continuing Student Program. He’s been a deeply committed Zen student for a number of years. In this short note, Vince has caught a comet by tail. Bravo! He lives in Idaho.

Hi Fred,

I know you do not teach via email, so I’m not expecting a response. But I did want to share the following journal entry with you. 

1/26/17

While laying in bed last night and examining witness awareness, it occurred on me (as it has previously) that all that I perceive or sense or feel—or better yet, everything that is observed, including the sense of being—is nothing more than objects that arise in awareness. That being the case, if all objects (that is, arisings) are eliminated, then the only thing that can possibly be left is nothing (no-thing, nothingness, emptiness) or the great Void.

As is said in the Heart Sutra of Buddhism: form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

And yet, these arisings are observed. By whom or what? There appears to be an “I” that experiences all of these objects and arisings. But even that “I” is an idea – an arising.

As such, all that appears to exist, including the “I” thought and even the “I am” thought, are arisings in no-thingness.

So then, what is awareness? That which is no-thing. If that is the case, then all there is to this no-thing are the arisings themselves, including that which calls itself “I”.

Thus, “I am” or whatever “I” am can only be what is arising at this moment. If nothing is arising (which perhaps only occurs in deep sleep or death), then there is no “I,” not even awareness. Awareness, “I am,” “I” and all other arisings reduce to no thing at all.  

I’m reminded of an exchange that took place with a Zen teacher many years ago:

Student: I experienced something that was nothing.

Teacher: Now drop the nothing.

And so, “I” relax and fall into slumber…

Warm regards!

Vince