PRIME POST! Instability versus Oscillation
For a long time I thought there were two states immediately available in post-awakening: oscillation and stability. That’s not true. There’s another available state has been staring me in the face for two years–I just never recognized it. As those of you who have woken up to your True Nature already know, when a thing is very, very close to us (as in closer than close!) it can be really easy to overlook it. That’s just what I did, so I’m here today to correct that.
Before we move into the “new” state, however, let me quickly address the idea of “stability.” Not in my own case, nor in all the hundreds of cases where I have seen seekers awaken, nor in any of the reports from awakened beings that I have personally talked to, have I seen anyone move from unconsciousness to stability in one leap, never once. Count how many fingers I have up: Zero.
As a result of that sweeping and unopposed personal experience, I am going to completely remove “stability” from the short list of states immediately available upon awakening. I hear that it happens, but I hear about leprechauns and unicorns as well. So if it does, it’s so rare that there’s no point in discussing it. This teaching is always about the big numbers: what wakes up the most people most of the time.
We are, however, still left with a list of two, because the newly named state of “instability” now makes our list. Let me point out the difference between true oscillation and instability. I went through it myself, but once again the shift was gradual, so I failed to note it.
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OSCILLATION: The sense of movement between the dream and the truth, between fantasy and reality, between the direct knowledge of our True Nature and a state wherein one believes they have somehow lost, fallen out of, or been disconnected from our True Nature. If it’s any comfort to those of you presently in this state, let me say that regardless of how it feels or how it appears, this whole idea is patently untrue and could never for a moment be true.
“Then why am I so damn miserable?” I hear you ask.
To which I can only answer, “Because you’re supposed to be until you’re not. Hang in there.”
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INSTABILITY: The state of acceptance of apparent oscillation.
This is not a smarty-pants remark. Let me give you one example, although I’ve noticed a ton of them lately. It’s like when you first learn a new word or buy a new car: suddenly you see them everywhere.
I have a student (self-declared) named Kathleen, who lives in the Midwest. For those of you who follow comments either here or on YouTube you’ll already know who she is–she’s a frequent contributor.
I’ve watch Kathleen agonize and struggle through some apparently isolated, but actually deeply spiritually integrated issues for the past year, and it makes my heart absolutely sing that she is living more freely today. Her husband is another self-declared student who woke up with me well over a year ago. Kathleen and I talk every couple of weeks and have become good friends, not just teacher and student. I haven’t talked to her husband recently, but I hear he had a really good week as well, which makes me smile from ear to ear.
Kathleen has been talking to me once a month for about a year. I have to wonder if I didn’t sense something coming, because right after our last conversation I suggested she go from once a month to twice a month, and as best I can recall I’ve never done that before. Kathleen saw the truth during our initial Awakening Session, but that brightness was almost instantly overcome by her chief story, which is the same as everybody else’s chief story. “I, the victim.”
Yet Kathleen never quit. She kept right on pushing right through her pain for a whole miserable year. And how’s she doing right now? That’s always the key, is it not? Well, I wrote her just as I started writing this article to tell her what I was doing, and she got right back in touch with me. I’m going to print her letter here, because she sums up the whole point of this post perfectly.
And now, back to the reader. If you’ve had an awakening but now find yourself apparently estranged from Oneness, this is your homework assignment:”
“When delusion arises, I practice accepting it with love. I don’t try to drive it away; I notice that just creates suffering. Rather, I practice opening up to the light of truth that is all around. And it flows in.”
If cloudiness shows up, and we resist it, guess what we’re doing? Resisting What Is, as it is, in this present moment. The thing that causes the sense of separation both before and after awakening is the same. Resisting What Is, as it is, in this present moment. I’m not asking you to surrender; you couldn’t do that if you wanted to. What I’m suggesting is that you be open to being surrendered. “
Don’t fight oscillation. Notice oscillation. When you fight it, guess who’s fighting it? Ego. When you simply notice it and then go on with what you’re doing, or better yet, do as Kathleen does and welcome it, you will move from suffering into the Great Okayness immediately. When you’re in oscillation, you’re in the fire. When you’re experiencing blessed instability, you’re warming up in front of the fire. Except of course, when you’re not.
Fred Davis, 4.14.15
April 14, 2015 @ 6:54 pm
Wow! I’m blown away!
April 15, 2015 @ 8:58 am
Hey, Chris!
April 14, 2015 @ 8:05 pm
The “Great Okayness.” I love that! Sometimes I feel I should be happier, more blissful, etc. But what I realized was that while I am not yet free of suffering, I’m blessedly free of the INTENSE suffering I was in. And remembering that, in itself, is a sort of bliss!
And thanks for the reminder to do my own homework, too. Although I had this insight recently and have been practicing it, it is easy for me to forget an insight and drop the practice. But persistence is what really brings results.
All love,
Kathleen
April 15, 2015 @ 8:58 am
Only Kathleen thinks she should be happier, more blissful, etc. Awakeness is always fine with whatever is present. Fred used to feel this way a lot, too. 🙂
Love,
Fred
April 14, 2015 @ 11:13 pm
And one can be caught with the thought: “D’oh, but I missed that last moment when I was deluded and forgot to let the love and truth in! Goddamit!” But of course, that very moment has the truth and the love in it. It’s enough to know it Now. Open those doors of reception, for light is always knocking, even when the house is a mess.
April 16, 2015 @ 8:18 pm
Funny, I just started using “it’s okay (Mikeness)”. It’s an interrupter to the cringing critical reaction that i’ve had to noticing that i wasn’t noticing (like Beau said, “Goddamit”). There’s trying to deal with the object of my distraction (the sense that it has to be figured out so it doesn’t have a hold on me, as opposed to instantly dropping it); there’s the goddamit that then interlaced because i couldn’t not either try to “think it out” – or be in self-recrimination (i now call this The Recriminator); now i add “it’s okak” (that i self-recriminated) because i want to break that vicious cycle that i was left in of criticizing myself for criticizing myself. I hadn’t done that before because I thought that was dualistic, taking sides with okay instead of practicing pure noticing. Now though i use the parenting your inner child suggestion and say okay to them all: the object of my distraction; that i “chose” to be distracted; that i criticized myself; that i couldn’t get out of this cycle. Who knew I would come around to just adding a comforting voice of “it’s okay”!
And receiving that ok from “another self” i’ve projected my reassurance onto – that’s okay too! And so I am so greatfull to my Fred-self that reflects to Me the Great Okayness. And Kathleen and Beau thank you so much for reflecting it and echoing it too.
April 20, 2015 @ 12:26 pm
Thank you, Mike, I appreciate this very much. It’s confusing until it isn’t. Trying to “think” nondually is a trap, although it’s a trap we probably all have to go through until we don’t. Allowing what’s already arising anyway (saying okay) is very helpful, even skillful. Enlightenment always boils down to one thing: “Am I awake to THIS arising?” If I’m resisting it, the answer is no. If I’m allowing to whatever degree I can allow, I’m staying in the right groove.