MUST-READ POST Spontaneous Awakening – Finding Without Seeking by Harvey Jackson

As many of you know, I am a professor of philosophy at Howard Community College in Columbia, Maryland. I teach many different philosophy courses for credit in the Arts & Humanities department. I also work with many college students on their journeys to radiant awakeness as I call it.

During this last semester, I had a student in my PHIL-101 class (Introduction to Philosophy) whose name is Paul. He is 20 years old and always sat by the door. The class size was 35 students and I always know when someone sits by the door, they are either coming in late or not paying attention.  Paul was friendly and told me at the beginning of the semester that he was only in college because his parents told him that he had to be there or he would have to pay rent since he was living at home. Other than that, he told me that he did not enjoy college and had no interest in any of the courses, which was reflected in his grades.

In the middle of the semester, I was covering a topic from our textbook which discusses the non-traditional images of God from different philosophical perspectives. I typically utilize a number of different teachings and videos for this class. For this particular class, I decided to show a two-minute video which shows a paraphrased excerpt from the Kena Upanishad which says:

“Not that which the eye can see, but that whereby the eye can see: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore;

Not that which the ear can hear, but that whereby the ear can hear: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore;

Not that which speech can illuminate, but that by which speech can be illuminated: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore;

Not that which the mind can think, but that whereby the mind can think: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore.”

I then played a video of Fred Davis talking about “There is just one thing happening.”

After I played the videos, Paul asked me play the videos again which I did for the class. When the videos were over, he told the class that the videos seemed like a waste of class time and that he had no idea why I even bothered to show them.

My class was the last one for Paul on that day and he has a half hour drive to get home. Paul would tell me the next day that on the way home that he could not stop thinking about the Kena Upanishad quotation and that somehow he had memorized the entire quote word for word and could hear it in his mind. He also said that he kept thinking about what Fred Davis said about “one thing happening.” He told me that he had no interest in classes, but these videos of the Kena Upanishad and Fred were playing over and over again in his mind.  He kept wondering what is the “That” in the Upanishad quotation. Why did Fred Davis refer to “one thing happening”? Paul also mentioned that he had no idea why he could not stop thinking about this for hours.  He would mention that by time it was evening, he somehow knew that there was something significant going on if I had shown it to the class.

When it was time for him to go to sleep, he says he could not stop thinking about the videos and he noticed that he was doubting every possible answer his thinking was coming up with.  Paul could not sleep and this inquiry would not stop.  Later that night, Paul said that suddenly it was so obviously clear.  The mind had turned backwards, so to speak, and LOOKED and SAW THAT which was everything, nothing, beyond any description and is the “one thing happening.”  Paul said the obviousness is so apparent, why can’t everyone see this?  Paul said that “Paul” is just an appearance – a character (a unit as Fred might say) like in a story or a movie.  Paul went on to say that his life had “turned upside down – no, it turned right side up.” 

Paul would try to write about it and talk with me. He said that the clarity and the appearance of a character are still here. He calls it “Paulness”.  Everything is just happen-ing or event-ing. The mind may tell stories about it and create beliefs but even that is just “one thing happening.”  Yet, if the character-illusion resists “what is.” then there is suffering. No matter what shows up, it is just “one thing happening” and that includes the sense of choice, free will, separation, happiness, anger, depression, joy. It is just THAT experiencing itself (just metaphorical words) in infinite ways. Paul says that you cannot lose this awakening /awakeness because you are THAT. 

When Paul tells his friends about this, they always ask how did you do it or is there a technique.  Paul always tells them that there is no technique, no path, nothing to do.  Of course, they get frustrated or confused with his answer.  He says that you are already “THAT”.  There is no volitional letting go, yet there is a letting go when the mind turns around and LOOKS and SEES that you are THAT which is looking.

Since this event, Paul continues his “ordinary” life of school and working two jobs. He told me that Paul has different experiences and moods every day.  But no matter what the experience or mood, everything is perfect just as it is.  He says, “If you experience insight, great.? If you experience confusion, great.? If you are happy, that is wonderful. If you are sad, that is wonderful.”  It is the perfect okayness that has no opposite. If there is a technique so to speak, it is the willingness to Look, to SEE. It is like a pebble dropping in the water which makes ripples.  Anything can be the pebble which ripples within the assumed character and then suddenly…… ?.

After our Satsang this afternoon, I contacted Paul and asked if he would write down some of his own notes. I told him not to worry about editing, but just write it down and I would include it in this essay. I did some minor editing as needed.  Keep in mind that Paul is just 20 years old and had no background or interest in nonduality prior to my philosophy class.  He has only seen Fred on videos and appreciates his authenticity and Fred “speaking like a regular person.”

Here is what he sent me:

“In my experience after searching for quite some time, there is no “me” to be found. The “me” that we all call ourselves is just made up of many memories and stories from the past which does not exist and is made up of the many desires and aspirations of the future which also does not exist. When you peer deep into the self that you think you are and ask, “Who am I?” you will find that the “I”, too, is just a story. A story that we have all fallen for the moment we were born.

The “THAT” in the Kena Upanishad or the “one thing happening” which Fred Davis talked about is like the Tao which goes to say that there’s really no clear answer or definition to give, but to put it in better terms to process, the “THAT” is the eye behind the eye, the ear behind the ear, the speech behind speech, the mind behind the mind. Or in another way, the eye that sees the eye seeing, the ear that hears the ear hearing, the speech that illuminates the speech illuminating, the mind that thinks the mind thinking. The thing that struck me, that made me wake up from the tantalizing life that I had once been living, was the connection between “that” and “it”. Previously I mentioned the phrase, “You’re it,” which should baffle anyone, because what is it, that I am? For me, it clicked; that the “that” is also “it” and they are who I am, the real me under the fake me, the true self, or whatever you may want to call it.

Once the transformation happened, many more questions began to arise within “me” and the core of my being. If there was no “I”, then am I not in control over my own life? I find that self-control is completely just an illusion that we buy into without question. Question it, and the truth will be clear to the one questioning. Ultimately, life has a course of its own and I am sure, with all of the hardships and problems that you have, that everyone has, it is quite apparent that self-control is absent. What is controlling this body? For me it is simple: “That” or awareness, or “it” is what controls. But to say that it controls is also wrong because that implies that there is something that is separate from that which is doing the controlling and there isn’t. “That” is everything and nothing, you and me, even these words.

There is a oneness in everything that becomes very apparent when the transformation rises. We are that space in between everything because there is only one space in the universe. We are a part of it as much as it is us. The first thing I said out loud after seeing the videos a few times was to really let it sink in that, “We are the universe experiencing itself through the very bodies we inhabit.” We may seem separate from one another, but in the true nature of reality, we are all one being appearing as separate beings. Remember that when I say, “We are the universe” that that in itself is also not “that”, in a way it is because “that” is everything and nothing, but to call it even the universe is like the Tao, it is not that. In our class you often use the metaphor of a screen. When you go to the movies and sit down and begin watching the movie, you may think you are watching a movie and all of the action and all of the various characters that take place within the movie. In reality you are just looking at a screen or a bunch of pixels. Let the screen represent our movie, being life, and the characters are us. We all seem different and we all seem to have different thoughts and perceptions, but really, we are all the same characters in the same movie on a screen. We are all the same painting on the canvas, like a wave is not separate from the ocean, it is the ocean.

Now if there is no self-control, then how can we deal with what is going on around all of us? It may seem very difficult but really it is quite simple. Everything that is going on around us are just happenings. Nothing is doing the happening, it is just happening. These are also called haps as you taught in the quantum physics unit. Everything and nothing is happening everywhere and nowhere at the same time. We think we see what is happening but that thinking of us seeing is also just a happening. We can just experience the world. Sit back and watch yourself move through life instead of trying to make yourself move through it. Let life move through you instead of trying to move through life. Next time you are sitting in a car, provided you are not driving, or riding in a plane, imagine the car or plane is still, stationary, and picture everything moving through you instead of you moving through all of it.  

There is nothing that will happen in your life that you don’t already know. You know you were born, you know you will struggle through life, and you know death awaits you. Forget that, that is lame and frankly not a life anyone should want to live. Instead, look at it in a way that when death comes, the “I” or the story is over and that character moves onto another story. I wouldn’t go as far to say that it is reincarnation because it is not just that.

We are all the same being, I am you and you are me, we just appear to be separate because it is what “that” happens to experience. No matter the “differences” between people, race, sexuality, political beliefs, religious or not, we are all the same person. “Treat others the way you want to be treated” takes on a whole new meaning. Treat others the way you want to be treated, because they are you! Take shelter in the knowing that nothing can be done that won’t already be happening. Let things happen the way they will happen and know that there was no other way that it would have happened. Everything happens perfectly the way that it will and has always happened. The way/how/when the transformation happens is going to happen as it will.

Notice the emotions and see the beauty of life around you as it is in itself.  Life is a grand circle, a paradox. Seek to break the circle and it will never be broken. Notice the circle and the power it holds over your life, and then the circle will appear to break, and the clarity will flow from the emptiness of what is, the everything and nothing of that which surrounds everything and nothing. Live with your ego and continue to notice it and know that you can never forget who you truly are because you were it from the very beginning. You were always and will forever be perfect, because you are it.”